Interview with one of our team members
General information (name; age; city where you are now; city of origin).
Yaryna, 18, currently in Lviv, because of my studies and social activities, originally from Chernivtsi.
How has the war affected your life (the lives of your loved ones)?
The war had a different impact on each of us. For me personally, it all started with total misunderstanding and fear not for myself, but for the people I love. I was worried about my younger brother, who is 12, and that he would not close in on himself. I was worried about my parents, but not about myself. On February 8, 2023, my father was mobilized, and a completely different stage of the war began for me. The stage of worrying about him and my mother, who stayed in Chernivtsi with my younger brother. Fear that one day you just wouldn't be able to reach dad. And the fear of what to do next if all the responsibility for them fell on my shoulders. I remember how my dad wrote down his bank card details and handed them to me, saying that if something happened, "you're the only one who can help them [members of our family]." Also, a few months ago, we found out that my dad's cousin was killed in the war, and it was morally difficult to let the same scenario happen to my dad. The uncle has two small children.
What has changed with the war?
Honestly, a lot has changed, although we all sometimes turn a blind eye to these changes, pretending that everything is normal and life hasn't changed much. I think the most noticeable change is in my outlook on life and my worldview and values. People say that 18 is the most carefree age, when you have nothing to worry about and should live your busy university life. I can't agree, I feel that my psychological age is not 18, but 40. I am concerned about global issues, and I blame myself for not being able to influence the war in any way. I also know that if things get really bad, I'll give up everything, take a course in medical assisting and become a paramedic or join a volunteer group somewhere on the frontline. Maybe many people will say that these are just infantile thoughts, but these are the thoughts I wake up and go to bed with every day.
What challenges have you faced? How do these challenges affect your daily life? Are you able to stay positive despite these challenges? If so, how do you do it? What helps you?
Challenges, I don't know. I can definitely talk about demotivation and constant burnout. My mental state depends on my family. When everything is going well, I have a desire to work and invest in the future, but when it's not, my depressive disorders start eating me up inside, and all I do is lie in bed, read books, and force myself to work and study. And it's a vicious circle. Sometimes I know I have a serious problem, but I don't allow myself to be happy, because how can I be happy when people are dying at the front. It was also my own prank that when the war started, I gave up eating meat, telling everyone about the heaviness after eating meat, but in fact I gave it up because I didn't understand how I could eat, and someone else is now unable to eat and is simply starving. I allow myself to be real and enjoy myself with my loved ones, so recently I realized that all we have left are emotions and they are worth living for. Or you need to spend time doing things that you like (like reading or writing, speaking for myself). I don't think I want to talk about the beginning of the war, when we had relatives from Irpin living in our apartment who left 20 minutes before Russian tanks entered the city, because that's another story and another period of life that memory tries to erase because it's horrible.
Can you tell me about your hopes and dreams for the future?
Briefly about my dreams, I want my dad to come home and we could live the life we had before the war. Although I realize that this life will never come back, because the war has changed it and us too. I dream about the end of the war, I dream about the restoration of Ukraine, I want to return to Mariupol and go to the sea, as I did as a child. I know that we will never bring back all the people who died, but I would like to talk about them and remember them, to praise them and continue their work. I dream of the release of all Ukrainian prisoners of war and their long-awaited meeting with their families. I dream that children will live in a world without war again. As for myself, I want to be a scientist, travel the world, study animals, advocate for environmental issues, be the voice of my people, and let the world hear about Ukraine and our achievements. I want to believe in it, but these are not dreams, they are goals.
How often over the past few weeks have you felt the future was bleak?
It's not even a matter of weeks, it's a matter of months. Very often you give up and feel like you've lost the meaning of life. But my dad often corrects me and says, "Hey, don't give up, there's still so much ahead of you, you have a whole life is waiting for you, Frosik.” And after these words, everything seems to become colored, and I want to live and work. I also admire a lot of the military, and I simply have no right to be depressed because they are over there, and we have to do everything to get them back here as soon as possible.
How often during the past 2 years have you felt as though your moods, or your life, were under your control?
Now looking back at the past 2 years, I have some very strange feelings. Sometimes it seemed that I was not able to control my life at all and that someone else was controlling it instead of me. And sometimes everything happened the way I wanted it to. But I know that this is only my life, and only I have the power to change or leave everything the same.
Over the last 12 months, how frequently have you felt alone or lonely?
Oh, the feeling of loneliness is probably my best friend, I used to be very sad about it and it seemed that communicating with people would change everything. I was looking for new acquaintances and people to spend time with very hard. Now I realize that it's more about finding harmony with yourself and the feeling “loneliness” is absolutely normal, and all people experience it. But first of all, you have to be comfortable with yourself, and then you won't feel lonely and won't constantly be looking for someone. The right people will always find their way to you and will be in your life no matter what, no matter how difficult your character is or how hard is the time you are going through. They will just be there for you and help you with everything, just for the sake of your carefree smile and your mental relief.
Do you think that self-caring is important? Why? Does it include learning different tools to understand your own feelings?
YES, YES, AND YES AGAIN. Taking care of yourself should come first. I always turned a blind eye to it and did not prioritize it, it always remained in the background. Not now, not the time. I will rest later, go to bed earlier, go to a psychologist later. Now it's not worth it, or I don't have enough money, or no, I'm so busy. No, it's all worth it. First of all, you are worth everything and the whole world. Your inner happiness and peace are worth everything. Your serenity is worth everything. Your time and money. First of all, you need to understand what you really lack and do everything to change it. You need to read and study how our psyche reacts and what can be a neutralizer.
Can you please tell how mental health is important for the people your age?
Mental health is an extremely important part of our lives. It directly affects our productivity, our thirst for life and work. Therefore, taking care of our mental health should come first. Only when we are happy can we make others happy, love life and our neighbors, help and work. And especially speaking about my peers, we are developing, choosing the right or wrong paths, learning, trying something new, and at this stage, having a stable mentality is not a must-have, but a duty, because the future and our actions depend on it.
Why do you think that “Viddykh” is important and needed right now?
"Viddykh" and similar projects should be widely spread now, as they promote and, in some way, build a healthy mind and correct views on life and the psyche, and that it is normal to have problems and you are not alone. Projects like Viddykh aim to influence the mental state of Ukrainian youth through their activities, because in the future they will be rebuilding Ukraine and growing a mentally healthy society.
Does this project benefit you at all?
Yes, because during working in this project, I can see the result of my work and feel the value of my own work. For a very long period, at the beginning of the war, I blamed myself for not having any influence on the course of the war and not being involved in any way except for donations and volunteering. Therefore, I clearly understand that Viddyh is the project in which I see the future and influence on the new generation.
What is the situation in your life now?
Right now, everything has improved a lot, perhaps due to the fact that spring has come and I want to live, or just because everything is really getting better. I also realize that my mental state directly depends on my loved ones, and when they are doing well, I am honestly happy. I want to stop wondering how long everything will be fine and what problems I will face. I just want peace of mind and motivation for everything, but challenges are great too.
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